Oct 15, 2011

Being a Sinner was Easier but Far Less Rewarding

Yesterday my husband and I worked tirelessly! The weather was unusually hot. At 9:00am, we stared at two of the largest storage containers one could rent at a storage facility. The task ahead was daunting. In five hours, we had to merge all of our furniture and belongings into one container. Anything that could not fit had to be sold or donated.

I thanked God for all that we had collected over the years as I tried to wrap my mind around the work that lie ahead. We worked hard and fast under the time constraint. Within a few hours, muscles in my back, head and other parts of my body, I didn't even know existed, were screaming in pain even though I had taken the maximum dose of Tylenol. Just like my deodorant, I desperately wanted to quit working. I was tired!

What surprised me the most was how I allowed the pain and exhaustion to effect my mood. The more tired, hot and filled with pain I felt, the more I found myself losing my temper. I even heard myself swear a few times. We accomplished a lot, but we didn't finish. I was going to have to finish the work by myself, while my worked to support our family. Resentful that we had not started this task sooner, I lost my temper. 

I went to bed as soon as we came home. I felt too exhausted to even eat or shower. As my eyes shut, I found myself in prayer. I sorrowfully, apologized to God for my ugly attitude. How could I have allow one day to change who I had become? Then, a calm came over me and I started to giggle at how ridiculous I felt swearing again. What must the neighbors have thought to see me yelling at our dog when she ran out towards the street?  I flashed back to those days when sinning came easy and realize how important it is to always be on my best behavior for God. Even thought it isn't easy, especially when I hurt, feel tired or unappreciated, it is so much more rewarding!

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