God has made me sensitive at heart. He has made it possible for me to display His character, share His grace, extend His mercy, and offer His forgiveness to others, especially my own family.
It was the day before Christmas vacation when my husband's work site shut down early. One by one, the members of his crew returned to the campsite where we all stayed. Soon everyone was home, except my husband. So, I called my husband's cell phone and asked how he was doing. "When will you be coming home?" I inquired. Right away, my husband lied to me. "I am still waiting for the electrician to sign off on the job." He said. "And, then I would like to go get new tires for my truck." He added.
Seven hours later, my husband finally returned home. When I confronted him about his whereabouts, he confessed. He went golfing. Instantly, I was filled with anger. I wasn't mad that he was at a golf course. I was hurt that he had lied to me again. "Why must he continue to lie? Doesn't he remember the pain and anguish he caused our family with his lies?" I wondered. Soon anger and pride consumed my heart. As a result, all that poured forth from my mouth were harsh words. Within a few hours, I had completely broken my husband's spirit. So, he calmly packed an overnight bag and drove to a local hotel. He checked in for the night. And, I was left feeling shameful for my response to his mistake.
Feeling sick over my own behavior, I turned to God. I painfully began to pour over the ways of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, tenderness and self-control. God was revealing to me a hidden corner of my own heart. With everyone one else, I was able to personally encourage them as God led. However, because of all that had happened between my husband I me, http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8109950309865157512#editor/target=page;pageID=5066117448418961304 I had expected an instant change of heart. God had called me to lead others to Him. Yet, I was poorly leading my own husband. Then, while God was showing me what I had been doing wrong, He revealed the Grace He had shown me all along.
With tears of repentance flowing from my eyes, I began to pray, "Lord, all of my ways are before You. I am sorry for the way I have been acting towards my husband. Please forgive me and help me to let go of the bitterness and anger which I have held against him. Empower me, O God, to resist the temptations and deceptions of the Evil One. Please make my life a glorious witness to your grace, especially to my own family. In Your Holy Name. Amen."
The next day, I felt a sudden urge to call my husband. "Come home." I said. Within the hour my husband returned home. And, in response I opened my arms and heart and offered him a Savior's embrace.