Once again, I was contemplating filing for legal separation from my husband. For weeks, rivers of tears had flowed from my eyes as I continually caught him in lie after lie.
In the past, when the anguish had become too much to bare, I cried out to God. Each time God responded. He wrapped His gentle hands around me and held me until I felt less broken. So, one morning in the quietness of my heart, I cried out to God again. This time I prayed. "Please Lord, it has been four years since I surrendered my heart to You. Yet, our family remains in crisis. Won't You please change my husband's heart? Salvation seems so far from him and he doesn't appear to be seeking You. I need You to guide me in doing what is right in Your eyes. In Your holy and mighty name I pray. Amen."
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| The unnatural light that drew me in |
After that, I drove our youngest son to school. On the way, I noticed a bright and unnatural light shining in the distance. Curious about the origins of the light, I vowed to return. Therefore, on the way home, I drove to where the light still shined. A film crew from Hollywood was shooting a commercial. Instantly, I felt a little disappointed to discover that the light wasn't some sort of glorious beam from heaven. Still, I figured that God might be calling me to the area for a reason. So I pulled into the parking lot and parked my car. I approached the first man I saw. The man appeared to be a security guard of some sort. He was dressed in warm and cozy clothing and covered in a reflective jacket. Without hesitation, I walked straight up to the man. Right away, I began to share my heart. "I am not sure why God has led me to you. Perhaps I am to share my story." Then, I shared my personal testimony with the man.
As though I was speaking a foreign language, the man just stared at me with a perplexed look on his face as I poured out my heart. "It has been four years and my husband still hasn't surrendered his heart to God. I see his continued sinful ways and I feel disgusted. I abhor his lying. He seems so wicked minded." Suddenly it began to rain. Then, something very odd happened. An overpowering smell of incense filled the air where we both stood. The smell was so strong that for a moment, I stood in silence to try to make sense of all that was happening. While the sweet aroma was in the air, I felt the pain that was welling up in my heart. All the while, cold rain dripped on my feet.
In my silence, the man began to speak. It took me a moment to comprehend what he was saying. He was quoting Scripture after Scripture in Spanish. One particular Scripture caught my ear. Matthew 16:24, "Take up your cross and follow me." The man quoted.
Then in English he softly said, "Take the chains off your husband and let the Holy Spirit convict his heart. In God's timing, he will come to the Lord." He continued on. "You must remember that you are walking in the light, and your husband is still in darkness. The only way that your husband will want to follow you, is if you show him grace." At this point, I stopped the man and asked if he happened to be a Pastor. "Yes," the man said, "I'm a Spanish Pastor at the First Southern Baptist Church in Lancaster." I began to giggle as I thought out loud, "Of course God would use a spot light to guide me to a Pastor who would lead me to His Truth."
Afterward, I thanked the man for allowing God to use him to speak directly to my heart. Then, he offered to say a prayer for me and my husband. I bowed my head and tried not to cry as he prayed a beautiful heartfelt prayer.
Later, as I drove home, I turned on the radio. On a local Christian radio station, a song caught my attention. The artist sang,
"So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain."
Stand your ground
Stand up when it's all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won't drown
And one day, what's lost can be found
You stand in the rain."
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To read this author's personal testimony
please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html
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