Divine Master, today while I read Your Word I began to ponder something. I wondered why moments of victory with perfect strangers are often shaded with moments of defeat in my own home. With strangers, through the work of Your Spirit, hearts are open and receptive. While in my marriage, my mere presence seems to spark a state of great agitation. Sometimes my mind struggles to process it all.
My marriage has continued to spiral out of control. Sadly, LeeRoy’s baptism only provided another way for me to rehearse my past failures. I guess I had grown tired of feeling insecure and inadequate. Not feeling “good enough” had become an unwelcome companion. So, since then, I’ve taken matters into my own hands and stopped attending marital counseling sessions. LeeRoy followed my lead and quit too.
Now everyday feels like my flesh is waring against Your Spirit. And, right now I’m allowing my flesh to win. Inside I wonder, why I keep letting You down. I am sorry LORD! Amen.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment