The first thing I pulled out were some of LeeRoy's old check stubs. I set those aside to shred later and reached in again. The next item I pulled out, was a copied CD that read, "Sleep." I sat back on heels and stared at the disc. My throat began to close and my eyes welled with tears. Could my husband have been trying to sleep without the prescribed medication that caused him to hurt me on that terrible night? I wondered, "When did he get this CD? How come I never knew he was trying alternative methods of resting peacefully?" Could he have tried this for me?
Then, I reached into the box again. This time, I pulled out a key chain. I read the key chain. It said, "Just For Today." Then, I turned it over and read the other side. It said,"NA Welcome." I remembered that two and a half years ago, I gave my husband an ultimatum. I demanded, "Go to an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting, or I am filing for divorce." Unbelievably, he went!
I started to think about how much easier it might have been to just divorce me back then. Instead, my husband began attending church and sought help from a 12-Step program. He even began to attend counseling. At one point, it seemed that all he did was attend meetings and church. What an incredible change from the man who gave me the silent treatment when I would approach the issue of addiction or speak about God. I tried to take the moment in. And, praised God for my husband's willingness to change.
As God would have it, in that very moment, the song, "Mountain of God" began to play. At first, I found myself singing along. I dug further in the box, not really thinking about the words that came from my mouth. But, when the artist sang,
"Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me."
I began to sob! I just sat there, my hands raised and covering my face. I thought about how far my husband and I had come in our walk with Christ and in our marriage. I uncovered my eyes and looked up! In that moment, everything we possessed just looked like "stuff."
When I gained my composure, I called my husband. I said, "I love you." He quickly responded, "I love you too!" I shared with him what just happened. The moment turned into another treasured memory. I think we both realized now, that it's the connection we feel to each other and the fact Christ dwells in us both, that brings us joy. All the rest, really is just, "STUFF."
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