Dec 25, 2011

Lonely on Christmas!

Psalm 14 (NKJV)

The fool has said in his heart,
         “There is no God.”
         They are corrupt,
         They have done abominable works,
         There is none who does good. 
Recently, I started my day with a cup of coffee and Psalm 14.  I had prayed prior to opening my bible, "Please Lord, stir my heart so that I can reach others." Then, I started to read. Immediately, as David the psalmist began to describe the fool, the unwise, hardened heart who believes that there is no ruler overseeing the world, my heart cried out.

I paused and sat back for moment to reflect, when a simple and common phrase came to mind. "I don't believe there is a mystical force ruling this world!"  Over the past year, I had felt challenged in finding a response to this sentiment when strangers, atheists and even a few close family members claimed this to be their truth. Now, I was left feeling sad as I thought, "Unbelievers must feel lonely on Christmas."

Then, in perhaps an effort to humble me, my past behavior was called to mind. I remembered how I used to say that I believed in God, yet I hadn't repented and my life was all about me. For years, I wasn't ready to stop having "fun." But what I didn't realize at the time, was that deep down inside, I felt lonely.

During those past Christmas's,  I usually spent my days going through the motions. I put up Christmas trees, looked forward to presents under the tree and focused on everything except worshiping the Lord and the real reason for the celebration. Even worse, there were many years when I felt like the church service was moving too slow. I simply couldn't wait to be done with the service so that 'my Christmas could finally begin.'

Then, in October 2008, I hit an all time low in my life. I had nowhere else to turn. So, I reached out for God. I pleaded, "If you are real, please show me proof." When God immediately responded with mercy and love, I realized the fool I had been. There is a God! He is Real after all! And all those years I thought I was having fun just turned out to be the creation of my personal testimony! I know now the reason I felt lonely during those past Christmas days. I was missing faith in the Lord above.

To read how I repented, please go to:

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 
To read the first written and published personal testimony 
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