June 9, 2013: My Personal Journal Entry: Christians are Vulnerable to Temptation to Sin

Dear Holy God, today while watching my husband get baptized, my heart longed for You. In front of a small crowd of churchgoers, LeeRoy said a few words. I shrunk in my seat, ashamed and embarrassed as he flippantly mentioned that I was the one who led him to You.

And how did I respond to the event that was likely touching the hearts of others, by being quietly submissive? Not at all. I allowed the feeling of powerlessness to rule my heart as I bitterly gossiped about my husband’s insincere faith to another church goer.  Oh LORD, When will I ever learn?

“How oft have I the Spirit grieved,

Since first with me he strove;

How obstinately disbelieved,

And trampled on his love!

How have I sinn’d against the light;

Broken from His embrace;

And woud not, when I freely might,

Be justified by grace.

But afterall that I have done

To drive Him from my heart,

The Spirit leaves me not alone,-

He doth not yet depart;

He will not give the sinner o’er;

Ready e’ev now to save,

He bids me come as heretofore,

That I His grace may have.

I take Thee at that gracious Word;

my foolishness I mourn;

And unto my redeeming Lord,

However late, I turn: Saviour, I yield, I yield at last;

I hear thy speaking blood;

Myself, with all my sins,

I cast On my atoning God.”^[1]

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[1] Methodist Hymns no 422 “The Surrender.”