Dear Jesus, today
my biological dad wrote to me again. This time he was responding to a small
gift package that I recently mailed to him. In the package, I included a
Christmas DVD movie called, “A Christmas Snow.” I had watched this particular
movie exactly one year ago, the night before my biological dad would receive
his own personalized Bible.
The movie was
about a woman who carried around the unwanted memory of her father abandoning
her as a young child. For 30 years, she tried to forget her past, throwing herself
into her career and staying busy through the pain. As an adult, a storm brought
her face to face with the hurts of her past causing her to choose one path;
letting go and grabbing hold of a life changing forgiveness or continuing to
carry pain and bitterness.”[1]
She chose forgiveness!
This woman’s story
was all too familiar. Now that I had a renewed relationship with the man I
called “dad” as a child, I wanted to share the movie with him. I wanted my dad
to know that I had forgiven him. Up until this point, we hadn’t spoken about
the past, since I believe that You had led me to him simply to share Your love
with him. So, I mailed him a copy of the movie.
Now, after seven
months of silence, he was returning my emails once again. I was relieved to
hear that he was surviving out there in the cold. After all, he was now
homeless and facing new struggles in life. Somehow, he was able to watch the
movie. Here was his response,
“Dear Donna, Well,
I have watched the movie three times now to find messages in the
script. I understand the pain of her feeling deserted, yet don't understand why
she is so bitter in her life. The daughter seems to reflect her bitterness from
the beginning of the show, since she is also feeling and retaining grief.
Muse Watson (he
played the father) is a favorite actor since he has played on NCIS with Mark
Harmon. It is easy to identify with a familiar actor, and much of what he said
in the movie was correct. From his recollections of the many mistakes
he had made, the many people he drove away from him, from leaving his
responsibilities behind, from the constant searching for his true self lost in
his world of many fantasies, to finally finding himself through faith and being
able to realize who and where he was, his only answer at first was: "It's
complicated". I was pleased to see that the story-line didn't leave it
there, but let him explain the changes made and the regrets he felt.
There is an old
adage that "What goes around, comes around", and it definitely
applied here as the young girl reflected Kathleen's emotional state as cold and
indifferent in the beginning to loving, sharing and kind in the end. How can one
expect love and being loved by another person if love is not given freely? Question:
Does this mean that you want me to visit you after I die?
In this day and
age, with corruption of so many values- morals and mores – the importance of
family, closeness of family, and a loving unity cannot be over stressed. I am
so pleased to see that things are working out for you and your family and you
have found yourself in your ministry. I am quite sure that you are both a
loving wife and mother, with happiness and love forthcoming for many years to
come.”
After reading his email,
I immediately responded. “Question: Does this mean that you want me to visit
you after I die? Laughing out loud :) No, it means I would love to see you before
then... simply to show you that love and forgiveness are all I have in my heart
for you. In Christ, Donna.”
Then, I bowed my
head and said a little prayer. “Father God, my heart hurts for my biological
dad. Won’t You please surround him with Your love and perhaps allow him to come
to California for Christmas? Maybe a warm embrace from his family might make
him feel less alone in this great big world. Please LORD, bring your prodigal
son home. But if not, Your will be done LORD. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment