Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts

Apr 23, 2012

Psalm 46 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble!

God Had a Plan for My Life!



Psalm 46:1-2 “God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though
the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; (NKJV).”

For much of my life, I believed in God but I had no faith. Therefore, I allowed life's painful trials to overwhelm me. Since, I didn’t know to turn to God during the most terrifying moments of my life, I carried the weight of confusion, guilt and pain from these events around with me for years. Then, in October 2008, God put an end to my pain and suffering. http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/my-personal-testimony.html 
Now when I feel sadness from life's trials and tribulations, I simply cry out for God to rescue me, wipe away my tears and hold me close!

Perhaps my father’s fall from God’s grace occurred long before my parents met. I am not sure how many years he had been drinking alcohol, but the problem became severe by the time I was six-years-old.
 One day, at around age six, my biological father fell from the roof of our home.  He had been drinking alcohol earlier that day and was supposed to be watching my older sister and me. As siblings often do, my sister and I were playing in the backyard of our fairly new home. My parents had purchased a badminton set and set the net up on our new lawn. My sister and I were young and not very experienced. We found ourselves mistakenly hitting all of the birdies onto the aluminum awning attached to the roof of the backside of our home. I specifically remember this awning. It had aluminum legs and long unsecured long white slats that layered across the top. It covered a large cement slab that we called our patio. When it rained, the water would pour off the slanted roof of our home onto the awning. I used to love trying to catch the water in my small hands as it flowed from the sides of this structure.
When my sister and I realized we had hit all of the birdies onto the awning, we called to my father for help.  In an attempt to retrieve the birdies, my father climbed up on the roof. But as he reached across, he lost his balance and fell from the roof to the patio below.
My mother was at work at the time of the fall. I called her immediately! She told me not to call an ambulance. She said, “We can’t afford it!” She told me to go get our neighbor and ask for help. I told my sister what our mother had said and she ran to our neighbor to request help. I remained by my father’s side. There was blood everywhere. Feelings of powerlessness and fear paralyzed me. I couldn’t move.
Within a moment’s time, our neighbor ran up to where I was sitting. He quickly wrapped my father’s head with a towel, then, drove my father to the emergency room of the local hospital. My sister and I remained home while my mother rushed to my father’s side.
From the hospital, my mother called around our neighborhood to find a babysitter. In a state of shock, I shut down emotionally. I don’t know how long it took before the babysitter arrived, but she brought with her several of her friends. The teenagers were rowdy and loud. They began partying in front of my sister and me.
My sister disappeared into her room and I sat alone on the couch clutching the phone and waiting for my mother to call. I felt angry at the teenagers’ failure to show compassion. They seemed completely indifferent to our feelings. 
Later that night, after hours of surgery, my mother called home to inform my sister and me that my father had survived the fall. I felt a sense of relief and innocently thought, “My father is okay, and he’s coming home.” But, sadly my father would return to the home only to continue to drink chronically. Eventually, my mother had had enough. She filed for divorce.
          A few years later, another man entered our lives. Strong in his Christian faith, sober and devoted, he manifested a personal character of godly humility. He would later lead my mother into a true relationship with Christ and plant a seed in my heart.
          These days, I trust that God has a plan for my life. I am certain that He did not leave me fatherless as a child. I believe now, that God was by my side, comforting me through the darkest nights.  He provided a godly father, who knew scripture and many times tried to lead me into a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ.  
          In fact, even while writing this chapter, God confirmed His love for me through a music video I had never seen before. Amazed, I sit here now, watching a little girl sing a song that moves me to tears. The little girl in the video is about my age around the same time I last saw my father as a child. Uncontrollably, I cry as she mouths the words, “My love, I’ve never left your side. I have seen you through the darkest nights and I’m the one who’s loved you all your life, all of your life." 
          Thank you God for your Amazing Love. I only wish I had returned your love sooner!



 Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 
To read this author's personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Apr 14, 2012

Was a divorce part of God's plan or One of Satan's Schemes?

1 Corinthians 7:12-14  "But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." (NKJV)

      One recent morning, my youngest son brought his bible to me. He said, "Mom, I am going to read to you from the bible." So, I grabbed my coffee cup and found a comfortable spot on the couch by his side. I watched as his little fingers crawled along the outside of his bible. Finally, he chose a page. He opened his bible to the book of Job. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job  
       My son read the story out loud in his sweetest voice. After he finished, I summarized what I knew about the lessons regarding the book of Job. I even spoke of the ways Satan had tested Job's righteousness. At that moment, I neglected to comprehend how God was speaking directly to my heart. Could God have been warning me of what was about to come?
          Recently, my husband and I had a fight that led to us to discuss the possibility of divorce. http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/2012/04/easter-sunday-opportunity-to-purfiy-my.html It was the first time in years that we had resorted to using this word in an argument. We had bought into the lie that our lives would be easier if we went our separate ways. Yet, as our tempers cooled, we were able to look inward and see how pride, self-righteousness, judgment and arrogance had taken over our hearts. It was instantly crystal clear to us that we had chosen Satan’s path, the world and money over God and that our own understanding had led to suffering and hopelessness. Realizing this, we surrendered our marriage back into the hands of God.
         Immediately, God made His will known. Within days, my husband physically returned to our home town. His upcoming job assignment had been inexplicably pushed back. As a result, he was told to work from home for a week or two. Because my heart was still healing from hearing the painful words, "I want a divorce," my husband offered to take residence at a local RV park for the duration of his stay. I accepted his offer.
       Meanwhile, I began to pray with a trustful heart. "Lord, won't You please bombard LeeRoy with opportunities to surrender to Your will?" That same morning, I drove to the local CVS to purchase a journal for my best friend. As I exited the store, I noticed that the woman at the register had not charged me for my entire purchase. So, I reentered the store and returned to the register. That's when I noticed a local Pastor standing in line. As we exchanged pleasantries, he asked, "How is it going Sis?" I didn't want to burden him with my heavy heart. Therefore, I politely nodded, shrugged my shoulders and responded "Okay." Yet, for unknown some reason to me at the time, the Pastor probed further. "Really Sis?" He asked as he leaned into me.  I tearfully began to share the struggles I faced in my marriage and how I was desperately trying to understand God's will. The Pastor asked if he could call my husband and pray with him directly. So, I gave the Pastor my husband's number.
         After I left the store, I quickly called my husband to share with him what had happened. My husband said, "I know, the Pastor has already called me." I sat in my car for a moment before I drove away. "Lord, there is none like You. No one else can touch my heart like You do. Thank You Lord, for always hearing my prayer!"
        Later on, my husband called and said, "Honey, I am going to have dinner with that Pastor that called." They went to dinner. Then, on his way home, my husband called me again. He said, "I just want to thank you. That was so great." God was reaching out to my husband. And my husband's heart was softening. The next day, I watched as my husband fasted for the first time and read his bible without my usual nagging.
       Moreover, each time my husband opened his heart to God, he also opened his heart to me. For the first time, I listened as he shared some of the secrets that he had kept. Then, I openly shared my heart too! We prayed together for our marriage with faith that God would draw us close as a family.
       Later, God revealed His will further when He led me to read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14.  "But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." (NKJV).
       After that, my husband continued to meet with regularly with the same Pastor.And, he remained steadfast in prayer. He spent time golfing with our older son and assisted our youngest son during his baseball practices and games. We began to hold hands together again in church.
       Now, as I think back to that precious moment when my youngest son read to me from the book of Job, I can't help but wonder if all that had happened between my husband and I was simply a test to stand firm against Satan's strategies and tricks. Each time I experienced the devil's presence, I am no longer able to deny his evil nature or reality and his influence on me to sin. I know now that the end result of choosing Satan’s path, the world and even my husband over God, leads to suffering and hopelessness. Therefore, even though I may not know what the future holds for my marriage,  I do know one thing for sure, God is faithful! And relying on my Lord and Savior while remaining close to His side brings Joy!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 
To read this author's personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Mar 26, 2012

When is it time to get a divorce? When God says, "It's time!"


 Matthew 6:9-10 (NKJV)

" In this manner, therefore, pray:
Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. "

      
MY HUSBAND WANTS A DIVORCE

       One day, I filed my income tax return jointly with my husband and discovered that he had been lying to me about money. Because of the compounding and painful lies I had already endured throughout most of our eight year marriage, I was now faced with an enormous decision and felt forced to examine my choice to remain married.
        Over the past year, I had confronted my husband regarding several issues in our marriage. Each time he overspent, chose his work over his family, or was caught in another lie, I shared my pain and frustration with him. Most of the time, my husband apologized and committed himself to changing his hurtful behavior. With an understanding of God’s values for marriage, I was determined to make mine work! Time and time again, I convinced myself that I was choosing to follow Jesus’ example by offering him forgiveness.
       However this time, for some unknown reason to me, my feelings of pain and frustration consumed me. One night in a heated argument regarding the lies I had currently been told, I gave my husband an ultimatum. “Either get help for your addiction, or have the compassion to once and for all let us go!” I never could have anticipated that in his anger, my husband would respond the way he did. He said, “Honey, I just don’t want to be married anymore.” Those sudden and cruel words left me feeling pure anguish. I started to sob!
             Later, after I tucked our young son into bed then crawled into bed alone, I started to blame myself for my failed marriage. Doubt overwhelmed me. My heart ached! My husband’s rejection and the idea of becoming a single-mother caused a type of anxiety I hadn’t expected. Pain overwhelmed me and the tears began to flow. How could I have repeated the same story of my parents? I wept!
      The next day, I allowed the idea of divorce to sink in. I felt the pain. Then with every ounce of compassion I could muster, I carefully packed my husband’s uniforms and other scattered belongings in plastic containers. All the while I prayed, “Lord, thank You for the trails I have experienced with my husband. Without the trials, I may never have fully accepted the gift of Your love. Please hold me close. I need Your loving embrace through this difficult time!”
     As the hours went by, doubt and confusion took over. I cried out to God. “Divorce seems so contradictory to Your Word!” I fell to the floor of my bedroom closet. For several minutes, I laid with my face to the carpet. Jesus lovingly listened as my tears turn to silent heartfelt prayers. Then suddenly, I felt strong again. I got up from the floor and wiped my tears.
      I acted on the urge to reach out to my church Pastor, a godly man who had prayed for my struggling marriage for over three years. My Pastor prayed with me over the phone. He prayed for God to provide me with heavenly discernment and strength. His words brought me comfort and soothed my hurting soul. After only a few more hours, I was determined to obey God’s will, come what may! 

Please feel free comment in the section below! 


To read my personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Jan 2, 2012

We're Unequally Yolked! Now what?

One cannot bring a person to God any faster than 
the Lord prepares them to accept His instruction!

Matthew 22:37 Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ” (NKJV)
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (NKJV)
           
In December 2008, my husband continued his abuse of prescription drugs, so I decided to move out of our home and into an apartment with our youngest son. Three years later, we are still married, yet, in many ways, we have remained separate individuals. We still live under separate roofs, have separate bank accounts and worship the Lord in our own personal ways.  
            Also, in 2008, I watched as my husband fell to his knees and accepted Jesus Christ into his heart. At the time, I had recently accepted the Lord too. We were both just beginning to surrender our separate wills to God.  Since then, my faith has grown immensely. First, God orchestrated my enrollment and graduation from a Seminarian program. Next, I was baptized. Then later, God led me to write and publish a book about my repentance and utter surrender to Jesus Christ. Over the past three years, my walk with Christ has felt more like a run at top speed! In comparison, my husband’s walk has been more methodical and seemingly cautious. So, I wait patiently, sometimes impatiently, for my husband to catch up.
What makes this situation difficult is the imbalance of emotions I feel towards God and my husband. Over the past three years, I have relied on the Lord for strength and help during trials. In doing so, I often share my innermost personal thoughts with the Lord rather than my husband. It is the Lord’s comfort and warm embrace I have come to depend on.  I have often failed to allow my husband the same access to my heart as I have my Lord and Savior. I pray that during the next part of my journey, I will learn how to become a loving encourager and friend to my husband as well.

MY WAYS ARE NOT HIS WAYS
Constant physical separation within a family causes each to develop individual routines in the absence of the other partner.
While my husband works away from the home for long periods at a time, our youngest son and I have settled into a comfortable routine. We begin each morning the same way.  I wake up a few minutes before he does, make a cup of coffee and read a chapter in my bible. Then, I wake him up and he scurries off to school. When he returns home, we eat a snack together, complete his homework and watch his favorite cartoons. Throughout the day, my son and I often suddenly stop to pray for someone God places on our hearts.
At night, we dance our favorite dance down the hall towards his room. We say our nightly prayers and then I kiss and tuck him into bed. When I read Scripture to our son, I try to explain God’s purpose behind His Word. Sometimes, God will bring His Word to life in a beautiful way that inspires wonder and joy. During these moments our young son and I praise God! Over the past three years, the two of us have experienced many exceptionally lovely moments together with God.
Sometimes a visit by my husband can upset this daily routine.  During one recent visit, our young son approached me after returning from day of golf with his father.  My husband had become angry on the golf course and had used foul language. Our son, not knowing many profane words, was stunned. He said, “Mommy, Daddy said two bad words today.” My husband, who was standing nearby, remarked, “And I told you that you didn’t hear those words.” Our young son, so astute, then said, “Now, are you asking me to lie?” Rather than speak to my husband in private, I immediately and outspokenly sided with our seven-year-old and belittled my husband for his improper example. 
Then, there are those other times when I try to remain altogether humble, kind and gentle through a rough weekend visit. During these times, I ask God to help me bear with my husband in love (Eph 4:2). One day I learned that my husband had lied to receive a refund on his income taxes. Rather than make him feel worse, I simply asked, “What can I do to help?” Then, I said, “I have some money that I can pull off of a credit card to assist you in a payment if you would like.” While he politely refused, I could tell that he was thankful for the compassion I had offered. In moments like these, I often pray out of desperation to God regarding my marriage. I ask God, “With all that I went through, why hasn’t my husband fully surrendered to Your will yet?”  In response, God softly reminds me that He is God and that His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor are my ways, His ways!
  He said, “The homeless man walked straight up to me and said, I want to enter your sober living program!” The speaker shared his reservations about admitting that particular man into his program. “He was older, had been on the street for fifteen years and I wondered if he could ever learn to fully accept sobriety.” I felt like God Himself was telling me one of His parables. Then the man said, “But as I stared at the aging man, I remembered something my father said to me once, ‘It’s never over with God’s Kingdom!’ So I admitted the man after 15 years of homelessness and the sixty-year-old man graduated from our sober living program, attended a bible college and is now a local Pastor.” “It is never too late for God’s Kingdom!” I thought. “Please Lord, lay a burden on my husband’s heart to seek help from a sober living program. And give me the strength and patience to wait on You.” Just then, one of my favorite worship songs began to play. Streams of tearful joy and hope ran down my face as I heard, “Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord!”

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 

To read about the night that caused me to surrender to God's Will, 

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