March 25, 2012 My Personal Journal entry: Sitting alone in church again?

Dear Heavenly Father, two short years ago, my husband and I were sitting side by side turning the pages of our Bibles together in church. Now sadly, we are struggling in our marriage once again. It all started when he began traveling across the USA for work. Perhaps we weren’t ready for time and space to come between us.

Now, we only see LeeRoy one weekend a month when he returns home from his far away job site. While Saturday is a day of re-connection, we usually spend Sunday apart. Travis and I attend church while my husband goes golfing. Each time a church member asks, “Where’s LeeRoy?” I choke back tears. When Travis cries and says, “I miss my dad.” I cry along too. It’s clear that once again, we’ve become a divided family. And, this fills my heart with sorrow. Please God, help us to become a family that loves spending time with one another that and lives to bring honor to Your name. Through Jesus, I pray. Amen.”

Praying that my Marriage will become all that GOD Intended it to be!

Our Wedding Photo
November 15, 2003
Navy Base Chapel at Port Hueneme

Proverbs 31:10-12 (NKJV) 

The Virtuous Wife

"Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.
 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life."

Recently, I stood in a Christian bookstore combing through several bookshelves. I was searching for something that could teach me how to become a more virtuous wife.

I considered myself a God-fearing woman. Still somehow, I couldn't fully submit my heart to my husband. For me, this meant that I often found myself trying to control my marriage and along with it, my husband too. Sadly, each time my husband acted in a way that I disagreed with, I questioned whether or not we were both walking along the same Christian path. "After all," I reasoned, "he still hasn't changed his past ways."

I had picked up several books and began to read, yet none of them spoke to my heart. So, I took a moment to pray. "Please God, help me find a book that will change my heart and save my marriage." Immediately after, I felt an urge to bend down. On the bottom shelf, I discovered a small book approximately the size of my hand. The small book was called "The Power of a Praying Wife," by Stormie Omartian. I quickly pulled the book out from the shelf, open the pages and began to read the first prayer.

"Lord, help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don't have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions and self-protectiveness and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me."

Tears overflowing, I walked to the check out counter and purchased the book. I promised to begin praying for my husband nightly. I recently began keeping my word.

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!

To read this author's personal testimony

please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NKJV)

The Virtuous Wife

"Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain.

 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands.

 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household,
And a portion for her maidservants.
She considers a field and buys it;
From her profits she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms.

 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night.
She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle.
She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She makes tapestry for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates."

I'll Rest When I get to Heaven. Right now, I am busy doing my Father's work!

The great temptations which thine eyes saw, and the signs, and the wonders, and the mighty hand, and the stretched out arm, whereby the LORD thy God brought thee out: so shall the LORD thy God do unto all the people of whom thou art afraid. — Deuteronomy 7:19 (KJV)

     Our first few weeks in our new location and new home were certainly trying! And learning to live in such a confined space took some getting used to. Outside temperatures soared up over 100 degrees.  Then suddenly, our trailer was inundated with ants. The pestilence continued for days as the small insects even took over improbable places such as the inside of our refrigerator. At one point, ants covered our food and caused our green grapes to look as though they had freckles. 
      Next, we began to hear warnings of baby rattle snakes. Two rattlers had slithered their way into our camp ground. One was killed only two camp sites away from ours.  Still, hiding out in our trailer was not an option.  Our air conditioning simply couldn't keep up with the rising outside temperature and the smell of Raid Ant Killer was too much for our lungs to process. I could feel my temper rise as the thought, "What have I done," continued to flash in my head.
     Right on cue, our youngest son began losing his normal spiritually uplifting character. Now,  I was having to discipline him often Soon, our laundry piled up. So, despite the heat, I needed to visit the park facility laundry mat. Beads of sweat dripped from my face onto our clean clothes, as I folded each item in the overheated facility.  Frustration mounting!  Afterward, I returned to our trailer and began to put stacks of clothes away. That's when I found a new bottle of hidden prescription medication.  Unbelievable!  I threw up my hands, hung my head and began to weep. Lord, after all that we have been through, could this be Your will? http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/official-book-launch.html#!/p/official-book-launch.html  
    Right away, I called my husband at work and unloaded my feelings. "It's hot, there are ants everywhere, rattle snakes and now this? We need to get help!" Have you considered attending the 12 step meeting I spoke to you about?" He remained silent. Earlier in the week, I had researched on line and found a local  Celebrate Recovery http://www.celebraterecovery.com/  meeting that offered inexpensive childcare. Once and for all, I wanted my husband to make a decision about getting help.   Before we ended the call, my husband agreed to go to the next scheduled meeting. Hope began to rise!
     During the next few days,  I asked friends and family members to pray for our marriage. I prayed too. “Please God, convict a believer's heart at this meeting to reach out to my husband.”
      Meanwhile, I remained busy about my Father's work. Each time, the Holy Spirit prompted me to reach out to someone, I responded. As a result, the week flew by. Finally, it was Friday! My heart filled with hope. "Perhaps, I too will receive the loving support I need to lead my husband to fully surrender." I thought.
     Amazingly, by mid-day Friday, my husband had contacted me three times.  "Looking forward to tonight." He said. Wow! After nine years of dealing with his addiction, I could barely comprehend his willingness and excitement. I told our young son, “God bless Daddy for his desire to attend this meeting tonight. Now, I can't wait to go. Thank You Jesus!"
     Then an hour before the meeting was scheduled to begin, my soul began to feel restless.  So, I drove our youngest son to my husband’s job site.  At the time, it seemed silly to drive the extra 40 minutes simply to meet my husband and caravan back home together.  However, when I saw the expression on his face, it made perfect sense. He was excited too!
     We arrived early to the meeting location. No cars! I thought, “Maybe I read the information wrong on the computer.” So, I called the number that I had written onto a torn piece of legal pad paper.  Voicemail!  "If you are calling after hours, please call Pastor Jim at..." The voice on the message said. Quickly, I called the Pastor's number. No answer. So, I left a message. Meanwhile my husband attempted to search the church website, using his cell phone’s Internet page, for more information. Unbelievably, my husband was able to search any other website except this church's website.  Instantly, I felt myself becoming angry at Satan. "Was the devil trying to hinder our family from obtaining God's help?" I wondered. Then, I started to pray, “Please God give me the confidence to withstand the devil’s schemes. Thank you for your Spirit who helps even now by interceding for me as I pray. In Jesus' name. Amen.”
    Yet, after 25 minutes of waiting and not having received a response from the Pastor, we decided to leave. On the drive home, I explained to my husband how disappointed I felt about missing the meeting. Yet at the same time, I felt an inexplicable feeling. I felt joy! “How could this be?” I wondered.
    When, we arrived home my husband offered to take our young son swimming in the community pool. I asked if I could stay in the trailer and be alone for awhile.  He obliged.  Then, with my head resting against our living room rocking chair, I began to pray, "Lord, thank You for moments like these when You teach me to rely on You. In Your precious Son's name, Amen."

    Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!  

To read this author's personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Was a divorce part of God's plan or One of Satan's Schemes?

1 Corinthians 7:12-14  ^"But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." (NKJV)

      One recent morning, my youngest son brought his bible to me. He said, "Mom, I am going to read to you from the bible." So, I grabbed my coffee cup and found a comfortable spot on the couch by his side. I watched as his little fingers crawled along the outside of his bible. Finally, he chose a page. He opened his bible to the book of Job. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job  
       My son read the story out loud in his sweetest voice. After he finished, I summarized what I knew about the lessons regarding the book of Job. I even spoke of the ways Satan had tested Job's righteousness. At that moment, I neglected to comprehend how God was speaking directly to my heart. Could God have been warning me of what was about to come?
          Recently, my husband and I had a fight that led to us to discuss the possibility of divorce. http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/2012/04/easter-sunday-opportunity-to-purfiy-my.html It was the first time in years that we had resorted to using this word in an argument. We had bought into the lie that our lives would be easier if we went our separate ways. Yet, as our tempers cooled, we were able to look inward and see how pride, self-righteousness, judgment and arrogance had taken over our hearts. It was instantly crystal clear to us that we had chosen Satan’s path, the world and money over God and that our own understanding had led to suffering and hopelessness. Realizing this, we surrendered our marriage back into the hands of God.
         Immediately, God made His will known. Within days, my husband physically returned to our home town. His upcoming job assignment had been inexplicably pushed back. As a result, he was told to work from home for a week or two. Because my heart was still healing from hearing the painful words, "I want a divorce," my husband offered to take residence at a local RV park for the duration of his stay. I accepted his offer.
       Meanwhile, I began to pray with a trustful heart. "Lord, won't You please bombard LeeRoy with opportunities to surrender to Your will?" That same morning, I drove to the local CVS to purchase a journal for my best friend. As I exited the store, I noticed that the woman at the register had not charged me for my entire purchase. So, I reentered the store and returned to the register. That's when I noticed a local Pastor standing in line. As we exchanged pleasantries, he asked, "How is it going Sis?" I didn't want to burden him with my heavy heart. Therefore, I politely nodded, shrugged my shoulders and responded "Okay." Yet, for unknown some reason to me at the time, the Pastor probed further. "Really Sis?" He asked as he leaned into me.  I tearfully began to share the struggles I faced in my marriage and how I was desperately trying to understand God's will. The Pastor asked if he could call my husband and pray with him directly. So, I gave the Pastor my husband's number.
         After I left the store, I quickly called my husband to share with him what had happened. My husband said, "I know, the Pastor has already called me." I sat in my car for a moment before I drove away. "Lord, there is none like You. No one else can touch my heart like You do. Thank You Lord, for always hearing my prayer!"
        Later on, my husband called and said, "Honey, I am going to have dinner with that Pastor that called." They went to dinner. Then, on his way home, my husband called me again. He said, "I just want to thank you. That was so great." God was reaching out to my husband. And my husband's heart was softening. The next day, I watched as my husband fasted for the first time and read his bible without my usual nagging.
       Moreover, each time my husband opened his heart to God, he also opened his heart to me. For the first time, I listened as he shared some of the secrets that he had kept. Then, I openly shared my heart too! We prayed together for our marriage with faith that God would draw us close as a family.
       Later, God revealed His will further when He led me to read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14.  ^"But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." (NKJV).
       After that, my husband continued to meet with regularly with the same Pastor.And, he remained steadfast in prayer. He spent time golfing with our older son and assisted our youngest son during his baseball practices and games. We began to hold hands together again in church.
       Now, as I think back to that precious moment when my youngest son read to me from the book of Job, I can't help but wonder if all that had happened between my husband and I was simply a test to stand firm against Satan's strategies and tricks. Each time I experienced the devil's presence, I am no longer able to deny his evil nature or reality and his influence on me to sin. I know now that the end result of choosing Satan’s path, the world and even my husband over God, leads to suffering and hopelessness. Therefore, even though I may not know what the future holds for my marriage,  I do know one thing for sure, God is faithful! And relying on my Lord and Savior while remaining close to His side brings Joy!

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 

To read this author's personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

When is it time to get a divorce? When God says, "It's time!"

 Matthew 6:9-10 (NKJV)

^" In this manner, therefore, pray:

Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. "

      

MY HUSBAND WANTS A DIVORCE

       One day, I filed my income tax return jointly with my husband and discovered that he had been lying to me about money. Because of the compounding and painful lies I had already endured throughout most of our eight year marriage, I was now faced with an enormous decision and felt forced to examine my choice to remain married.
        Over the past year, I had confronted my husband regarding several issues in our marriage. Each time he overspent, chose his work over his family, or was caught in another lie, I shared my pain and frustration with him. Most of the time, my husband apologized and committed himself to changing his hurtful behavior. With an understanding of God’s values for marriage, I was determined to make mine work! Time and time again, I convinced myself that I was choosing to follow Jesus’ example by offering him forgiveness.
       However this time, for some unknown reason to me, my feelings of pain and frustration consumed me. One night in a heated argument regarding the lies I had currently been told, I gave my husband an ultimatum. “Either get help for your addiction, or have the compassion to once and for all let us go!” I never could have anticipated that in his anger, my husband would respond the way he did. He said, “Honey, I just don’t want to be married anymore.” Those sudden and cruel words left me feeling pure anguish. I started to sob!
             Later, after I tucked our young son into bed then crawled into bed alone, I started to blame myself for my failed marriage. Doubt overwhelmed me. My heart ached! My husband’s rejection and the idea of becoming a single-mother caused a type of anxiety I hadn’t expected. Pain overwhelmed me and the tears began to flow. How could I have repeated the same story of my parents? I wept!
      The next day, I allowed the idea of divorce to sink in. I felt the pain. Then with every ounce of compassion I could muster, I carefully packed my husband’s uniforms and other scattered belongings in plastic containers. All the while I prayed, “Lord, thank You for the trails I have experienced with my husband. Without the trials, I may never have fully accepted the gift of Your love. Please hold me close. I need Your loving embrace through this difficult time!”

     As the hours went by, doubt and confusion took over. I cried out to God. “Divorce seems so contradictory to Your Word!” I fell to the floor of my bedroom closet. For several minutes, I laid with my face to the carpet. Jesus lovingly listened as my tears turn to silent heartfelt prayers. Then suddenly, I felt strong again. I got up from the floor and wiped my tears.
      I acted on the urge to reach out to my church Pastor, a godly man who had prayed for my struggling marriage for over three years. My Pastor prayed with me over the phone. He prayed for God to provide me with heavenly discernment and strength. His words brought me comfort and soothed my hurting soul. After only a few more hours, I was determined to obey God’s will, come what may! 

Please feel free comment in the section below! 

To read my personal testimony please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

We're Unequally Yolked! Now what?

One cannot bring a person to God any faster than 

the Lord prepares them to accept His instruction!

Matthew 22:37 ^“Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ” (NKJV)

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (NKJV)

           

In December 2008, my husband continued his abuse of prescription drugs, so I decided to move out of our home and into an apartment with our youngest son. Three years later, we are still married, yet, in many ways, we have remained separate individuals. We still live under separate roofs, have separate bank accounts and worship the Lord in our own personal ways.  

            Also, in 2008, I watched as my husband fell to his knees and accepted Jesus Christ into his heart. At the time, I had recently accepted the Lord too. We were both just beginning to surrender our separate wills to God.  Since then, my faith has grown immensely. First, God orchestrated my enrollment and graduation from a Seminarian program. Next, I was baptized. Then later, God led me to write and publish a book about my repentance and utter surrender to Jesus Christ. Over the past three years, my walk with Christ has felt more like a run at top speed! In comparison, my husband’s walk has been more methodical and seemingly cautious. So, I wait patiently, sometimes impatiently, for my husband to catch up.

What makes this situation difficult is the imbalance of emotions I feel towards God and my husband. Over the past three years, I have relied on the Lord for strength and help during trials. In doing so, I often share my innermost personal thoughts with the Lord rather than my husband. It is the Lord’s comfort and warm embrace I have come to depend on.  I have often failed to allow my husband the same access to my heart as I have my Lord and Savior. I pray that during the next part of my journey, I will learn how to become a loving encourager and friend to my husband as well.

MY WAYS ARE NOT HIS WAYS

Constant physical separation within a family causes each to develop individual routines in the absence of the other partner.

While my husband works away from the home for long periods at a time, our youngest son and I have settled into a comfortable routine. We begin each morning the same way.  I wake up a few minutes before he does, make a cup of coffee and read a chapter in my bible. Then, I wake him up and he scurries off to school. When he returns home, we eat a snack together, complete his homework and watch his favorite cartoons. Throughout the day, my son and I often suddenly stop to pray for someone God places on our hearts.

At night, we dance our favorite dance down the hall towards his room. We say our nightly prayers and then I kiss and tuck him into bed. When I read Scripture to our son, I try to explain God’s purpose behind His Word. Sometimes, God will bring His Word to life in a beautiful way that inspires wonder and joy. During these moments our young son and I praise God! Over the past three years, the two of us have experienced many exceptionally lovely moments together with God.

Sometimes a visit by my husband can upset this daily routine.  During one recent visit, our young son approached me after returning from day of golf with his father.  My husband had become angry on the golf course and had used foul language. Our son, not knowing many profane words, was stunned. He said, “Mommy, Daddy said two bad words today.” My husband, who was standing nearby, remarked, “And I told you that you didn’t hear those words.” Our young son, so astute, then said, “Now, are you asking me to lie?” Rather than speak to my husband in private, I immediately and outspokenly sided with our seven-year-old and belittled my husband for his improper example. 

Then, there are those other times when I try to remain altogether humble, kind and gentle through a rough weekend visit. During these times, I ask God to help me bear with my husband in love (Eph 4:2). One day I learned that my husband had lied to receive a refund on his income taxes. Rather than make him feel worse, I simply asked, “What can I do to help?” Then, I said, “I have some money that I can pull off of a credit card to assist you in a payment if you would like.” While he politely refused, I could tell that he was thankful for the compassion I had offered. In moments like these, I often pray out of desperation to God regarding my marriage. I ask God, “With all that I went through, why hasn’t my husband fully surrendered to Your will yet?”  In response, God softly reminds me that He is God and that His thoughts are not my thoughts, nor are my ways, His ways!

  He said, “The homeless man walked straight up to me and said, I want to enter your sober living program!” The speaker shared his reservations about admitting that particular man into his program. “He was older, had been on the street for fifteen years and I wondered if he could ever learn to fully accept sobriety.” I felt like God Himself was telling me one of His parables. Then the man said, “But as I stared at the aging man, I remembered something my father said to me once, ‘It’s never over with God’s Kingdom!’ So I admitted the man after 15 years of homelessness and the sixty-year-old man graduated from our sober living program, attended a bible college and is now a local Pastor.” “It is never too late for God’s Kingdom!” I thought. “Please Lord, lay a burden on my husband’s heart to seek help from a sober living program. And give me the strength and patience to wait on You.” Just then, one of my favorite worship songs began to play. Streams of tearful joy and hope ran down my face as I heard, “Strength will rise when we wait upon the Lord, wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord!”

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 

To read about the night that caused me to surrender to God's Will, 

please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

Money? I almost let being broke get me down.

Today, for some odd reason, I began to ponder how low my bank account was! It was months ago that I turned down unemployment benefits to show forgiveness to my past employer. http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/unemployed-mother-turns-down-needed-to.htmlhttp://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/unemployed-mother-turns-down-needed-to.html Yet, until today, I hadn't felt so broke. However, it didn't take long before the Lord corrected my wandering thoughts.

First, as God would have it, I drove passed a homeless family of four. Seeing the children sitting on the sidewalk next to their father who was holding a sign that said, "Need Help," reminded me of the scripture I had read earlier. I was to have humble faith. So, I promised myself that if this family was still in front of McDonald's when I return to our town, I would stop and offer them a bible and prayer.

Next, I went to pick up my computer. The young man who fixed the computer, loaded several extras, even a DVD burner, just because. And, he only charged me $20.00. Wow!

Then, on the way home, I saw the same family. So, I stopped and offered them the bibles. We started talking for awhile. I discovered that the youngest was celebrating his birthday tomorrow. He was born on Sept 11. When I asked his name, he said, "It's Phil, but I go by Joseph." I told him the story of Mary, Jesus and Joseph.

After, I learned that his older brother's birthday was the following day. I wanted desperately to offer the parents a few dollars to buy birthday presents. But, I had no money to offer. I felt comfortable sharing my story of hope, so I leaned in and started to recall the events that led me to surrender to God. While I spoke with the mother directly, I noticed that her two children had invited my son to play with their Lego's. Her two boys even offered son a present. A heaviness began to spread across my chest. I could barely stand the pressure. If only, I had a few dollars to offer them.

Later, my husband returned home. He was home for the weekend. When he walked through the door, we exchanged a warm greeting. Then he extended his hand. He said, "Pick one." In his hand were two lottery tickets. I smiled and said, "Oh honey, I don't gamble any more." But he insisted, "Please, I bought this one for you!" I watched as he scratched his ticket. Nothing! ,

Next, it was my turn. I began to scratch my "winning numbers,"  the numbers you need to match "your numbers" to. When I was finished, I scratched my first number. WINNER! I looked across the counter where my husband stood. We met eyes, and we both smiled. I scratched the next number, WINNER! And, the next, WINNER! The entire card was filled with winning numbers. I won $18.00, enough to buy a cake, frosting, a card and still have a few dollars for a gift. I said, "Our God is AMAZING! I can't wait to offer a cake and gift to these boys on their birthday." We immediately raced off to the local grocery store and bought the ingredients. I had completely forgotten about my money problems!

For more real life stories just like these, please go to:

http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/

God's Word-The Perfect Gift for Christmas

  John 1:1-5 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it." (NKJV)

A BIBLE FOR CHRISTMAS

One day, I stared at the bible on my lap, my favorite book. I reflected back on how many times over the past three years, God's Word had brought me Comfort, Joy, Peace and Love. I am certain now, that my life changed because I read God's Word everyday.

I went into my bedroom and erased my prayer board completely. I wrote only one request. “The lost, suffering, in pain and sorrow-Please comfort Your children with a bible: Your Word in their hands!” I resolved to pray this prayer on my knees until Christmas. I wondered about who would receive a bible as a gift for Christmas this year.

God's Holy Light

Then I went and sat at my computer and began to play a song over the internet. Soon, I was lost in a moment of worshiping the Lord. Suddenly, I felt those familiar goose bumps overwhelm me. I said to the Holy Spirit, "There You are!" Unexpectedly, a beam of light streamed through the window and hit my face. Had God already heard my heart?

Then, just before Christmas, while in church one Sunday, I took a short break from the Pastor’s sermon to stretch my legs. I still wanted to hear the rest of the Pastor’s sermon, so I stood at the rear of the church. For a moment, I gazed into the display case against the wall. Something shiny white as winter's snow, glistened and caught my eye. It was brand new bible. I couldn’t wait to call my husband and tell him about the bible I had seen. “It’s white, my favorite color,” I said. He said, “Buy it! I’ll put the money in your bank account tonight!” I bought the bible, brought it home and carefully placed it under our Christmas tree.

On Christmas morning, I opened that beautiful pure white scriptural gift and something wonderful happened. I felt my heart leap with joy! I realized that earlier in the year, I had resolved to pray on my knees for God to comfort His children with a Bible. I asked God to place His Word, my favorite book, in the hands of those who needed Him the most. Now, I realized, God had included me in my prayers. 

Please share your thoughts in the comments section below! 

To read the first written and published personal testimony 

please go to: http://dlouyoung.blogspot.com/p/store.html

God is refining us!

Determined to finish working on liquidating our belongings, I resolved to spend the day at our storage unit. When I arrived, I put the CD 'Revelation' by Third Day, in my car's compact disc player. Then, I grabbed the first box.

The first thing I pulled out were some of LeeRoy's old check stubs. I set those aside to shred later and reached in again. The next item I pulled out, was a copied CD that read, "Sleep." I sat back on heels and stared at the disc. My throat began to close and my eyes welled with tears. Could my husband have been trying to sleep without the prescribed medication that caused him to hurt me on that terrible night? I wondered, "When did he get this CD? How come I never knew he was trying alternative methods of resting peacefully?" Could he have tried this for me?

Then, I reached into the box again. This time, I pulled out a key chain. I read the key chain. It said, "Just For Today." Then, I turned it over and read the other side. It said,"NA Welcome." I remembered that two and a half years ago, I gave my husband an ultimatum. I demanded, "Go to an NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting, or I am filing for divorce."  Unbelievably, he went!

I started to think about how much easier it might have been to just divorce me back then. Instead, my husband began attending church and sought help from a 12-Step program. He even began to attend counseling. At one point, it seemed that all he did was attend meetings and church. What an incredible change from the man who gave me the silent treatment when I would approach the issue of addiction or speak about God. I tried to take the moment in. And, praised God for my husband's willingness to change.

As God would have it, in that very moment, the song, "Mountain of God" began to play. At first, I found myself singing along. I dug further in the box, not really thinking about the words that came from my mouth. But, when the artist sang,  

"Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me."

I began to sob! I just sat there, my hands raised and covering my face. I thought about how far my husband and I had come in our walk with Christ and in our marriage.  I uncovered my eyes and looked up! In that moment, everything we possessed just looked like "stuff."

When I gained my composure, I called my husband. I said, "I love you." He quickly responded, "I love you too!" I shared with him what just happened. The moment turned into another treasured memory. I think we both realized now, that it's the connection we feel to each other and the fact Christ dwells in us both, that brings us joy. All the rest, really is just, "STUFF."

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