March 1, 2013: My Personal Journal Entry: When Children doubt if they are going to Heaven-Saved

Dear God. Today my heart warmed once again. Thank You for this morning’s elementary school ceremony when You encouraged our youngest son in front of all of his peers. What a wonderful reminder that Your plan for him is to give him a future filled with hope. 

It was still early in the school day when my husband, mom, dad and I sat eagerly waiting for Travis’ classroom to file into the auditorium. Travis’s face lit up as he saw us all gathered together, cameras in hand, waiting for his turn.  Before long, Travis was invited to stand in front of all the other students enrolled in the second grade of his new school.  His cheeks began to turn rosy red as he held up is caring award, there upon the stage. After a quick embrace, his school teacher shuffled her handwritten notes. She began her speech. “Now my friend, Travis. What a happy guy! As a new student, he came to our school in the fall. And what I noticed from the very first day, was that even though Travis was the new student, he went around trying to make everyone else feel at home and comfortable. He made sure that everyone was having a good day. He never stopped helping others and making sure that everyone was okay.  When he began having trouble with a few children who were bullying him, he never showed it. He was still nice to them, offering to help them and do things for them. He was caring to everyone even though people weren’t acting caring towards him. And, I am so proud of him.”

On my face was an ear to ear grin. While in my heart, I offered up a little prayer. “Oh LORD, I wish to thank You for my son Travis and for allowing him to take this grand journey by my side. I am so grateful for the way You are working through his little heart. His temperament is so unlike mine. He is a gentle server with a tremendous capacity to love others who's teaching me to be less boisterous and how not to judge. It amazes me how, through Your Spirit, Travis instantly sees the importance of every soul. He can’t wait to make another friend.

Sometimes, though, his sweet little heart fills with doubt. It pains my heart when Travis claims that he doesn’t have a spiritual gift. He says, “Am I going to heaven too Mommy? I don’t do all the things you do.” I try to assure him that I’ve never seen another child who walked before You more faithfully or with more wholehearted devotion.

Father in Heaven, Almighty God, my prayer today is for my son. I ask that You’d please assure Travis that he has found salvation by his belief in Your only Son, Jesus Christ. Show him that he is loved by You. And LORD, I pray that when You one day call us home to walk by Your side, that we’d go to heaven together. I ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

February 2, 2012 Journal Entry. Sometimes Ministry Keeps me TOO busy

Dear Father, the month of January rolled by much too quickly.  How easy it is to become incredibly busy, even with ministry! I praise and thank You for the many opportunities You have orchestrated in allowing me to share Your love with others. Yet, I must admit, I’ve missed You. In fact, it is only now while sitting here quietly at Your feet that I realize just how much. Today, I am just thankful for the opportunity to find rest at Your feet and to hear Your Word, spoken gently to my heart.  

December 3, 2011 Journal Entry. The Man in the Santa Suit is a Believer too LORD?

Heavenly and all gracious King, it is Christmastime. As I look around our small apartment, I begin to wonder if a sweet little Christmas tree might bring warmth to our small apartment. Yet, we are living on a tight budget now. Not to mention, since the night You saved me, I have rarely spent money on myself.

With Your permission, however, I am wondering if, perhaps this Christmas, You’d allow me to buy a small tree, nothing to extravagant or expensive, just a modest purchase to bring a little warmth and cheer to our humble apartment?

I’m expecting a birthday check in the mail LORD, and I am wondering if it would be okay to use the money for such a whimsical purpose. With Your permission, I’ll spend no more than the $30.00 birthday money and I’ll do my best to glorify You through the purchase. If this is Your will LORD, would You please move Your Spirit within my heart? Thank You, LORD. Amen.

Later On

Glorious Master, it didn’t take long before I felt Your Spirit direct my heart. Although I must say, I was quite surprised by where I thought You wanted me to go. I had an overwhelming feeling to drive towards the larger, more popular Christmas tree farm in our town. In a moment of doubt, I felt certain that we would never find a tree within our budget. So, before we left our apartment, I expressed my concern with Travis, "I'll just drive down the main road, look at the price chart and turn around if I can't afford one of the trees. Okay, Son?"  To which, Travis sweetly nodded “Yes.”

However, once we drove onto the lot, my son’s eyes and spirit seemed to lift with joyful anticipation. The tree farm was bustling with activity.  Just from the car, we could see children swinging high in the air from what looked like tree swings.  Other people were walking to their cars with their trees wrapped in plastic netting.  And there was a long line to see Santa Claus, who with great happiness, shouted “Ho Ho Ho,” from inside an oversized sleigh. How could I turn the car around now and leave the tree farm with a young son who would be wet with tears all the way home?

We got out of the car and walked towards the front gate. Suddenly, my young and faithful son grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy, can we pray?" I bowed my head and he began to pray, "Lord, we just bless You for this day. Thank you for this day. Please help us to find a cheap Christmas tree. Help us to find the one You want for us. We just bless You, Lord. I love You, Lord. In Your precious name. Amen." I immediately crouched down on one knee, hugged my son tightly and said, "That's the perfect way to pray Son. You always pray for God's will. I am so proud of you!"

Then, just inside the gate, we found ourselves staring at Santa Claus. My son smiled and said, "Look mom!" I giggled and asked, "Do you want to go see Santa?" He shook his head and said, "Yes, please." We walked right up to the sleigh. Suddenly we were the only ones in line. Santa handed me a bite size candy cane and invited my son to join him in the sleigh. At first, Travis hesitated. He looked up to me for confirmation. I said, "Go ahead," and nudged Travis’ shoulder forward. Then he climbed in the sleigh and sat upon Santa's lap. When Santa Claus asked my son what he wanted for Christmas, Travis replied, "Power Rangers..." After that, he climbed back down and stood by my side.

Almost immediately, I felt an awkward pause. Was the man in the red suit waiting for me to say something to him? I began, "Actually Santa, we believe in Jesus Christ. We don’t believe in Santa Claus.” Then, I took a long deep breath. As a slowly exhaled, I anticipated his response. I wasn’t expecting his reply to affect me so intensely. Having heard my profession of faith, the man in the Santa suit looked me directly in the eye and said, "Me too! He saved my life. I was in a coma recently and no one knew what was going to happen. But He let me live. So, I believe too!"

I choked back the tears. Had the man wearing the Santa Claus suit just shared his testimony with me? We slowly walked away. And, as we did, I grabbed Travis’ hand and said, “Sounds like Santa might be a believer too Son.”  Travis began to jump up and down. Then, with a gentle tug of my arm, he began to skip by my side as we walked to the first row of Christmas trees.

Where to start?  I remembered my young son’s prayer. “The tree You want for us Lord,” he asked. We started down one row. With every price tag I read, my heart sunk more and more. Then, suddenly, we came upon one tree that was the exact type I wanted. Yet, I simply couldn't bring myself to reach out and turn the price tag. I was too afraid to feel disappointed. In a sad and nervous tone, I said, “I bet these trees are too expensive for us to afford son.”

That’s when Travis, with increasing gusto, began to repeat the same little phrase, “Please be a cheap tree. Please be a cheap tree!”  Then, he bravely turned the price tag face up. Suddenly and with great excitement, he screamed, "$29.95! It’s cheap Mommy!" Unbelievable! The tree was small, less than five feet, so I decided to chop the fir down myself. After all, I had seen this done many times before. "How hard can it be," I thought. So, I went back to the tree entrance and grabbed a hand saw. But after only about twenty minutes I was tired! I was attempting to cut through the whole tree. About halfway through, my arms were screaming in pain. Perhaps if go to the opposite side of the tree and make another cut?

But halfway through the other side, I noticed I had created two cuts at different levels. I sat back on my heels. I wiped my brow. Quickly, out of nowhere, I heard, "Do you want some help?" I said, "Yes please!" A young Christmas tree lot employee had come to my rescue, armed with a chainsaw. When he was done cutting the tree down, I asked him his name. He replied, "It's Michael." I smiled, and said, "Did you know that your name means ‘Who is like God?' ”

The young man loaded the tree on the back of a tractor and asked us if we wanted a ride. I replied, "Yes, that would be great," and we hopped on the rear of the tractor. Travis looked up at me and said, "This is the best day ever!"

Then, as we unloaded the tree and walked up to the checkout area, I noticed that the pleasant young woman handling the payment transactions was wearing a beautiful cross around her neck. The cross was bigger than any charm I had ever seen. The pink and gold stones were shining brightly. I said, “You must be a believer too.” She replied, "I am. Most of us here are.”

My son grabbed the front end of the tree as I held on to the stump. We walked to our car and I looked up to notice that an elderly man was parking his truck nearby. As he backed his truck into a parking slot, the man held his hand out of the window and gave my son and me a "thumbs up” signal. I smiled as I received his warm gesture. I then in my heart, I prayed to You.  "Thank You, LORD. Thank You!"

            What a day it has been. We ended the night by stringing lights on the tree and cheerily placing ornaments that said, “Joy, Peace, and Love,” on our family tree. As we hung the final ornament, my young son asked if he could create one of his own. He ran into his room and returned five minutes later holding his precious handmade gift. Speechless, I watched as our seven-year-old carefully hanged his heart shaped decoration on our tree. The ornament simply read, "Jesus Loves You.” With misty eyes and a prayer from my heart, I replied, “I love You too LORD.”

August 7, 2011 Journal Entry. God pays my unpaid bills.

Heavenly Father, thank You for being such a wonderful provider. How could I have known that You’d answer my prayer in such a glorious way? It was only six months ago when I quit my long career in Social Work to walk by Your side full-time.  At the time, I had no idea how You’d provide financially. I simply followed what I believed You were instructing me to do through Your Word. Unbelievably, You laid it upon my husband’s heart to pay all of my household bills for the first time in our marriage. What an incredible blessing, especially since this means he is paying for two separate rentals. I am still praying that You will reunite us under the same roof someday soon.

As I find rest in Your presence today, thankful for Your mighty hand of provision, something odd happens to me. My mind begins to take notice of a few unexpected bills.  I tell myself, “You have a plan. There is a roof over our head and enough money to meet our needs. Why should I worry?” Oh LORD, please return my focus back to You. And, help me to trust You more. Amen.