Father
God, this morning while reading Your Word, I had a sinking feeling that I had
wandered back onto the wide a chaotic path. With Your Word open upon the floor
of my childhood bedroom, I prayed for direction. Suddenly, a strong feeling to
call my husband to discuss our marriage came over me. I wanted to obey. Yet, my
flesh began crying out, “This is your chance. Get out now while you can!” The
thought of returning to an unhappy marriage filled me with sorrow. Pride welled
within me as I told myself, "You will have to say you are sorry
first." I decided to drown out all
the other voices and to obey You.
Staying
still for a moment, I pondered how to keep Travis occupied while I privately
spoke to his father. "I'll drive to the beach." I thought.
"Maybe Travis can play in the sand while I speak to LeeRoy."
As soon
as we arrived at the beach, I called my husband. I tried to talk to him about
our marriage, but his mind was made up. He was divorcing me, no matter what I
said.
After
our phone call ended, I sat motionlessly for a while. I couldn’t help but
notice how small, insignificant and weak I felt. The rejection was almost too
much to bear. Were we really getting a divorce? “That wasn’t the promise I had
been reading in Your Word for the past few years.” But now, LeeRoy was adamant.
I was not to return home.
Confusion
set in as questions rolled into my head. Were You were allowing me out of my
painful marriage? Was I being punished for pridefully walking away from Your
plan? I had no answers. I just knew that I was now standing at another
crossroad. Utter sadness came over me.
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